1. |
Crippling Ambition
02:40
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Why can’t I satiate the need to rise above the rest?
Will crippling ambition subvert my claim to joy?
I’m still convinced that the best of days are yet to come.
It would be a colossal tragedy to not appreciate them.
Should I take the time to enjoy the fruits of all my labors?
I fear it’ll all go down the tubes before I can taste their flavors.
Forged in the flames of a fury that it seems only I can feel
The ingot of all my youthful yearning has formed a vicious blade
And it serrates the flesh and bone of the beast that once held me in chains
But if I can’t pass it down what have we really gained?
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2. |
Ingest
02:27
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When you’re alone with your thoughts, you carry all of the weight
Of a world hell-bent on crushing you
Putting others first won’t help you escape
I wish that I could ingest enough of your pain to understand
Abide all of your deepest tortures; let the gallery of judgment disband.
Used to see myself as a savior, but I know I’m not worthy of the name.
I’ve accepted my condemnation and that there’s only so much I can change
I no longer romanticize about a time that was glum and morose
Or of a future where a mutual dejection could make us peaceful and close
Putting one’s best forward is the utmost that anyone can do
It’s become abundantly clear that this is how I will comfort you.
Dismiss the notion that your best will never be enough.
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3. |
Safety of a Screen
01:59
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Why work, why try?
Why live, why die?
The virtual world becomes a physical escape and the cardinal sin is making you wait.
Where’s the drive to think and to create?
The aspiration to physically manipulate the world around you into something you can relate to all you know and feel?
The ambition to use one’s mind and hands to create something that is real?
Sitting idle, sedentary
Is any of this necessary?
Your world rests behind the safety of a screen
I suppose it must be nice to ignore all that which you don’t agree with.
Don’t resent me for my skills at the game that you lose because you don’t want to play.
I know this goes in one ear, right out the other, but nothing’s going to change over night
You’ve got to do something even if it’s wrong, or life is going to just pass you by.
Put in no work, in return get nothing, make a post and ask your friends list why.
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4. |
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Intertwined consciousness leaves more secrets to be revealed.
A gracious amount of time has elapsed.
My thoracic lacerations have yet to heal but I’m not bleeding out.
Your judgment of me I transcend.
You’re stuck in a state of being where bitterness never ends.
My greatest desires exceed the wildest of your dreams.
Not afraid to shake my world, shatter its foundations at their seams.
I’ve surrendered my sentiments of decades past, now they don’t matter
I’ve forgiven the shortcomings of those who had been closest to me
Everyone has a burden to bear, yours and mine will never be absolved.
I suppose every person has their price.
I’m still just shocked that yours wouldn’t even suffice to pay for
A day’s feed for the mightiest of your steeds, I understand that it’s easier to just blame me.
Everyone has a burden to bear.
The mind’s eye now splinters.
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5. |
Shame's Tradition
01:37
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I have the genes of a murderer, an addict, and a psychopath but that is not me.
All I want is to create opportunity to make this wicked world a more bearable place.
But at times I struggle to keep any faith, when I consider where I originate.
I have no pity for my family, generation after generation of the same mistakes.
You wouldn’t know me if you saw me on the street so I hope you’re not looking for my sympathy.
Your lives made no difference to me then so why should I care now?
Excluded from shame’s tradition for the blight on who I am.
I’d give the shirt off my back to a perfect stranger before I’d give the likes of you five lousy cents.
It’s not the blood that is shared that makes a family.
I turn my back on those who can’t give me the time of day.
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6. |
Tips the Scale
01:25
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Suicide tips the scale to one side of the tenebrosity.
Delusions of psychosis give the other end a tug.
Acrimony for the sanctity of all you claim to offer.
The objective truth and your perception are not corresponding.
Do you ever consider the other side?
Fulcrums of selfishness rest under the levers that create the divide.
Drown one to save the rest of the litter, snuff out the plague before it can spread.
Disease has gripped the mind of the children, murder becomes routine and mundane.
And it’s all fun and games until it’s staring you in the face.
This is the price that we pay for not being proactive, but don’t say I told you so.
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7. |
Bed of Razors
01:07
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Forgotten by existence, fallen into a fissure of insanity.
Bed of razors at the bottom, a cradle, for the remnants of abandoned dreams.
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8. |
Surrendering Autonomy
03:19
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Kissing the ground beneath your idols’ feet,
Bowing to the judgment of self-proclaimed authority.
Abandoning all principle in favor of empty opportunity.
Do you see the writing on the wall?
Clear and legible in bold script that a fallacy is being promulgated.
Clear and in high visibility that a fearful child is being emasculated.
Words of caution are all but ignored because “we can be anything we want today”.
Believe what you wish, do as you see fit, there’s no happy ending in this fantasy.
Surrendering
When the gavel slams after the sentencing, perhaps you’ll find the time to reconsider the approach we take for the sake of advancement at the expense of our next of kin.
Surrendering autonomy, would you prefer your choices all be made for you?
I suppose you would. Hah!
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9. |
Malevolent Continuum
02:39
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The taste of sin as sweet as she may be is only a projection of purpose that can’t be felt or seen.
Shackled to our constructs of successes as perceived, we must create our own definition or the existing one will be
Dragging you down to this place you fear, you will find inhibitions disappear when the last semblance of hope is gone and you prepare…
For life to end just as it began, a random event in a malevolent continuum traversing towards entropy.
Give yourself to the void.
Wrong and right as clear as they may seem, share a plane.
Depending on the exposition, it may be dull or it may gleam.
What you make of past and present will always shape what’s yet to come.
Taking time to rest will only compromise what could be done.
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10. |
Neglect and Violence
03:12
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I’ve seen this all before, memories of another life.
Victims of circumstance; turmoil, chaos and strife.
With the lord’s hands wrapped around your throat, how can you even breathe?
When your creator renounces you, where’s the incentive to believe?
From the manic episodes to the razor-slice afternoons.
Acts of neglect and violence, you’re not telling me anything new.
The depressive tendencies, when everything grinds to a halt.
Insurmountable numbness when you’re told it’s your own fault.
I’ve heard this all before, time to pay it forward and make things right.
Some only think of themselves, but being there for those in need is our lot in life.
How could benevolence earn you God’s punishment?
How could selflessness bring you closer to death?
Such a treatment does not make any sense.
I’ve seen this all before, memories of another life.
The names, faces, and the dates will change; but our roles in the story will remain the same.
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11. |
How This Probably Ends
02:19
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I hear again and again that you’re ready to die, I just don’t understand.
But I can empathize with the suffering.
All of my life’s pain, at this point, is felt for others and for this I know that I’m blessed and cursed.
What you do when we part ways is out of my hands.
I hope you can remember what was said.
I’m to terms with the fact that you won’t know me as an older man.
But that does not make this any easier to bear.
In spite of odds against you, and knowing how this probably ends.
In spite of odds against you, I maintain some optimism.
But we all know how this probably ends.
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Bed of Razors Southbridge, Massachusetts
Central Massachusetts Hardcore / Thrash
Est. 2019
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